When I was fielding comments about the insanities involved in figuring out what I weigh in the U.K., I caught myself just before I wrote that at least we all measure time the same way.
Are you sure? I asked my more-than-usually bewildered self. I imagined someone jumping out the magic surge of the internet to tell me that yes, the hour has sixty minutes everywhere but the minutes are longer in the U.S. Why there? Because everything’s bigger in the U.S. Or that’s what people in Britain tell me. Houses, rooms, scones, the spaces in our parking lots. People. So wouldn’t it be just like us to want a longer minute?
It might, but as far as I know the minute really is the same everywhere. And no, Americans don’t all live in mansions any more than the British all live in castles, although the scones and the parking spaces really are bigger. And some of the rooms and houses. I’m not sure about the people.
Irrelevant photo: freezing fog on Davidstow Moor.
What were we talking about?
My point about time is that we may measure it the same way, but someone always finds a way to complicate things. Usually me. A few years ago, I was working out a time to pick up M. for—I think—a movie.
“A quarter of,” I suggested.
“What does that even mean?” he said.
“A quarter of six.”
Then I realized he wasn’t asking about the hour, he was asking about the quarter of part. I tried translations.
“Five forty-five? A quarter to? Fifteen minutes to six?”
He shook his head.
“But what, grammatically, does it even mean?”
Well, it means a quarter of, obviously, and I had to say the phrase one more time to realize that it doesn’t, but any sort of logic, mean a thing. A quarter of what? Of nothing. It’s just what we say. We know what it means, so what’s your problem?
On the other hand, the British say “half six.” That’s three, right? No, that’s six-thirty. What, grammatically, does that even mean? About as much as a quarter of. But if you’ve grown up with it, it makes all kinds of sense.
Mercifully, no one’s come along to divide the traditional clock into a more rational system—ten hours, 100 minutes. You know, something easier to calculate with. Because some of us would convert to the new system and some of us wouldn’t and we’d all fight about it, and we’re having enough trouble as it is.
Notes from the U.K. 
It’s even better in French. ‘Six O’Clock minus the quarter.’ (Six heures moins le quart)
With that in mind, I suppose I should add ‘Vive La Difference!’
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That makes perfect sense. Where’s the fun in that?
LikeLike
Take solace in the fact that it appears no one on either side of the pond can agree on when dinner or supper is, no matter how you tell the time. Here, I live 25 minutes from work and most everything of interest is 45 minutes from here. I think you get the better deal with a pint! And everyone is sure that a firkin is a southerner doing something naughty. Suspenders? We keep those above the waist. Jumpers? Here we call the police when we see a jumper, it keeps the sidewalks cleaner. All that said, I’d love to have a bacon butty just now. Speaking of time, at least you know where Greenwhich is. On this side of the pond we don’t even know that is the beginning of time, so to speak, never mind where it is. And it’s only 6 hours from here ;)
LikeLiked by 1 person
All too true. Except for the part about Greenwich, which (growing up in New York) I knew was below 14th Street.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Hahahaha
LikeLiked by 1 person
I read this post in a New York minute. ;)
LikeLike
Which, as we all know, is shorter than other minutes.
LikeLike
This is so true! I have a friend from London who says the time in the ways you’ve mentioned and I swear I need to ask her to repeat herself since I don’t understand! It does sound lovelier however in my opinion to say ‘ a quarter of six’ than ‘5:45’ but my brain can’t process it quickly enough!
Ps: my apartment’s kitchen and bathroom are so tiny that anyone would be shocked by their dimensions! A girl can dream of a castle one day!
Have a lovely Tuesday !
Lia
LikeLike
As for our mansion in the U.S., when one of us put a new roll of toilet paper on the holder, the bathroom got so crowded that whoever used the toilet next had to lean to the left.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow!! That is indeed tiny!!!:)
LikeLike
Although a friend in New York had a much, much smaller one. Even at my unimpressive height, the door crowded my knees. What contortions real people had to engage in I have no idea.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh wow! That’s tiny! Yes certain bathrooms around these parts are rather comical! The angular sink is my favorite when there’s not even enough space for a straight-on one!!
Happy Wednesday:)
LikeLike
Yes. They look like they’re made to wash itty bitty little hands in.
LikeLiked by 1 person
In New England it’s common to say “Half-past six.” Somehow the “past” got dropped, I guess.
LikeLike
I heard half past in New York and Minnesota as well. I’ll take a wild guess and say it’s common throughout the country.
LikeLike
You make a good point about ‘half six’ – I’d never thought about it before moving to the mainland! In Ireland, that would be 6.30. In Germany (and probably most other countries), half six would be 5.30 – confusing!
LikeLike
Whoa! That I didn’t expect. How glorious that it’s more confusing than I thought.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just when you thought you were confused enough ;)
LikeLike
Oh, I would never think that.
LikeLike
If you know what the hour is, and I say “half-past” we are good to go…but only if we know where we are going…which would be? Doubtful.
LikeLike
Yeah–where we’re going is a whole new level of problems.
LikeLike
Yeah, going over there, up there, down there, and elsewhere. Going downtown to be uptown and going uptown to be downtown. You can go uphill while going down the lane. You can go east on the west bypass. You can go crazy if you never go any where. You can go crazy a lot of different ways but you are never there if you think you are. You can go places and never leave town. You can go down the toilet while trying to climb the ladder. You can go inside or outside but never outside in. My boss goes in circles all the time and never leaves his chair. You can go till the cows come home or to the wee hours of the night but you can never go until tomorrow. I’ve always looked carefully at maps to find ‘the wee hours’ but there are no hours there at all, neither big nor small, just minutes and seconds is all I find.
LikeLike
And there (wherever that may be) we are.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well,
Here in Germany, in the southern parts, we have something like “ein viertel sechs” [ a quarter six]. I’m never sure what that means, “a quarter to six” or “a quarter past 5”. Actually it’s the latter. Confusion reigns. ;)
Have a great one,
Pit
LikeLike
The wonderful thing about this is that the German’s have such a reputation for running things efficiently. Glad to know you’re as mixed up as the rest of us.
LikeLike
The thing that makes me nuts about telling time is 12AM and 12PM. How can it make ANY sense ANYwhere to go 11.58PM, 11.59PM, 12.00AM????? Especially when the next AM is 00.01. So I use noon and midnight, but that feels like a cop-out, and I wish we’d all just switch to the 24-hour clock and be done with it.
LikeLike
That’s exactly the kind of minutiae that fills a copy editor’s head. Although a lot of it has fallen out since I retired. Memory insists that noon and midnight are correct, not 12 a.m. or p.m., although I wouldn’t urge anybody to bet a whole lot of money on that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What makes it more confusing to me is speaking to my Russian neighbour. In Russian, the time system is similar to the English one, but having forgotten its specifics, I eventually give up and say it in English. In Bulgarian it is nice and easy, we use the actual numbers and “half”, that is all. On another note, I envy the Americans for the large parking spaces. The ones here are so stingy… But it is a smaller country, some will argue, so no space for too many cars!
LikeLike
I confess: I do miss the bigger parking spaces.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ellen, only you could make “time” into a fun read! Not sure what military time would add to that mind-boggling discourse. I’d say, it might make “time sense.” Christine
LikeLike
The train schedules here use military time–the twenty-four hour clock–and I regularly catch myself just as I’m about to book a 19:01 train that I’m thinking will leave at 9:01 pm. It’s been almost eight years now. How long’s it gonna be before I understand, in my bones, how this works?
LikeLike
It’s just the way we Brits abbreviate stuff. Half six has gone from ‘half of one hour past six of the clock’ (or six o’clock as we know now) through ‘half past six’ to simply ‘half six’. We would also say ‘quarter to’ or ‘quarter past’ rather than ‘quarter of’ and it’s only geeks, police and legal people that would say 18:45 instead of quarter to seven. Imagine a romantic phone call that ends with “I’ll see you at 19:15!”
LikeLike
…and it’s merciful that romantic phone calls don’t end that way, because anyone brought up the way I was, on a twelve-hour clock, would be likely to show up at 7:15, decide they’d been stood up, and there would go the romance, right out the window.
LikeLike
The only time that matters is dinner-time…or is that supper-time? Lunch? Tea? Second Breakfast? Onesies?
Damn…now I’m hungry…
LikeLike
I think that must be elevensies, because onesies are the things people wear. Although if you put two of them together, surely you do get elevensies.
It’s all so complicated.
LikeLike
Ha! I love this post. My mother says “thirt” for half past. As in, “See you at twelve thirt for lunch!”
She swears it’s an Australian thing, I think she’s deliberately confusing me. How hard can it be to add the ‘y’?!
Lovely to be reading your posts again, I’d forgotten how much fun your writing is to read.
LikeLike
I may get that last sentence tattoo’d on my arm. Thanks.
LikeLike
Oh goodness. I struggle so much with how to express the time in America. I actually have to ask my kids what their friends mean when they say “quarter of”. Each and every time.
LikeLike
Isn’t it funny how some things, even once you know (abstractly) what they mean, refuse to go into your head as meaning?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Then there’s the metric system….one of my favorite subjects… :-)
LikeLike
The metric system at least makes sense. The fact that I can’t use if very well is no one’s fault but my own. Unless you can suggest someone for me to blame it on.
LikeLike