Two quotes from politicians to carry you through the week:
From the Ministry of Mixed Metaphors comes Tim Farron, who was trying to explain why he stepped down as leader of the Liberal Democrats: “I had bet the farm on our position of Brexit but I was content that if I went down with the ship I went down fighting.”
Once the ship goes down, the fields will to be too muddy to plow for a long time, Tim.
And from the Committee for Resurrecting Dead Authors comes Andrea Leadsom, who was briefly in the running to lead the Conservative Party. In what sounds like a desperate attempt to one-up a Labour MP who was praising women’s achievements, she said, “I would just add one other great lady to that lovely list…and that’s Jane Austen, who will feature on the new £10 note, who I think is one of our greatest living authors.”
Austen dies 200 years ago. Waterstones bookstore jumped onto twitter and asked if anyone knew who her agent was so they could book her for an event.
Notes from the U.K. 
How can it be possible that somebody doesn’t know that Jane Austen is dead? Ah, wait, being a politician it’s possible.
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My best guess is that she doesn’t know a damn thing about her as a writer, only as a woman who was about to appear on the £10 note. And–yeah, well, she is a politician. Making sententious pronouncements on subjects she knows nothing about comes naturally.
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I think Jane Austen is hanging out with Frederick Douglass these days. I hear he’s doing an amazing job!
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That’s the second Frederick Douglas comment (I’m probably reading them in reverse order). I hadn’t heard that he’s been found alive. What a gift he’ll be to our troubled times.
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Another UK Conservative politician Michael Gove (currently Minister for the Environment) famously said in 2016: “The people of this country have had enough of experts…” That’s because he thinks politicians are the real experts, as evidenced here by Andrea Leadsom.
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He didn’t.
Yes, I’m sure he did. All hail the ignorant, for they shall lead us all.
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But a *book*seller?!?! !!!
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A few have survived the onslaught of Amazon. They’re rare but they haven’t faded from the planet completely.
Or wasn’t that your point? Waterstones was making fun of Leadsom–in that dry British way.
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Ah, don’t you just love mixed metaphors.
As for the other one…
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…it does kind of leave you speechless, doesn’t it?
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ahhhh politicians. can’t live with them. can’t give them away to ISIS.
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ISIS, as far as I can figure out, has problems of its own. I can see why they might not want ours.
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When I saw the title of your post, I was afraid it was going to be too long to read – might even tax the remaining memory on my old computer. But now I see you stuck to UK poliricians, none from the former colonies ! Much more manageable !
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I stuck to the two clippings I happened to have. But it’s true, lately dumb quotes from U.S. politicians–. Let’s put it this way: I’m seventy. I’m not sure I’d live long enough to post them all.
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My God, so it’s not just here in the US? There is a special strain of stupid cropping up in politicians these days, eh?
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Maybe. Or on the other hand, maybe we’re just listening more closely.
Or on the third hand, maybe we’re electing idiots.
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Don’t be too hard on her about the Jane Austen thing. she might have been nervous about her upcoming lunch with Margaret Thatcher. As for Mr. Farron, technically, it is hard to go down with the farm.
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I’m sure you’re right. I do hope Mrs. Thatcher didn’t stand her up.
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I hope she didn’t stand up at all.
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Good grief. Politicians iz stewpid on either of the Atlantic. 😜
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If nothing else, the least they can do is entertain us. In fact, if they would just focus solely on entertaining us…
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Great plan. We should form a political party around it.
No, wait, Screaming Lord Sutch already did: The Monster Raving Loony Party.
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Really enjoyed hearing about ludicrous politicians’ sound bites, clunky or what ?
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Hahaha! The Austen one is ridiculous. 😂
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Maybe Jane Austin is hanging out with Frederick Douglas!
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Austen. Oy.
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That’s okay. Leadsom won’t notice the difference.
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Has he been found alive recently? I hadn’t heard. I’d love to sit down for a cup of coffee (or tea) with them both, either together or separately. I wonder if they’re too busy.
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Oh. Man. I never thought Donald could be out-Donalded but Ms. Leadsom is giving it a good run.
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I think overall that Donald still gets the booby prize, both for quantity and for quality. And for having no idea who Jane Austen was. Or is.
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Yes, DJT has ignorance cornered. I doubt he knows who Jane Austen was either. His ignorance about American history and world history is eye-ball popping.
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Oh GASP. those are terrible errors. Much like the time I wrote to you that my dog was a superb specimen of the feline sort. I don’t often bumble with words, and when I do, I like to make it spectacular, I s’pose.
Mixed metaphors and Jane Austen zombies are not my particular field of bumble.
Imagine Jane Austen living today…
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Did you? (That refers to your feline dog.) I don’t remember it, which makes me wonder if I noticed it at the time. If not, it looks like I retired just in time. I’d have hated to let something like that get past me when I was working. Now I can afford to laugh about it.
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I did. And you replied oddly, but this did not garner much exploration on my part. (Sometimes people just don’t understand me, can you imagine?) HOWEVER, I posted that sentence on my Twitter and some nice fella was kind enough to point out my error. Oh the GASP.
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I can’t recreate my thinking to explain the odd answer. Sometimes I’m just odd.
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Me too. I don’t mind odd.
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Maybe as Tim Farron’s ship goes down on the farm, he’ll sink into the depths of Jane Austen’s grave and can ask her if she’s free a month from Thursday for a book signing event?
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Ooooh, you’re good.
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What made Leadsom’s statement even more stupid was that she said it either the day before or the day after the 200th anniversary of Austen’s death. I am, however, willing to accept that it was a slip of the tongue. Even politicians must have been made to read Austen at school.
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I’m sure you’re right, but I reserve the right to make fun of her for it. I wouldn’t if she were just someone on the street instead of a politician used to making pronouncements about many things she doesn’t know a thing about.
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I didn’t mean to suggest that you shouldn’t make fun of her. It was a stupid thing to say.
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I don’t think you did, really. But your comment did make me question a few of my nastier tendencies–which I quickly decided were just fine.
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Absolutely. Politicians with foot in mouth disease are fair game.
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Politicians, eh? If they didn’t exist, we would have to invent them.
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I think we did. I don’t remember what the plan was when we did it, though.
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I’m sure it was different to how things turned out.
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Isn’t it always?
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Jane Austen LIVE! At your local theatre! Get your tickets now!!!!
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Quick, because we don’t know how long this opportunity will last!
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Hi Ellen,
Darn, I thought this was going to be about another politician that fits this description. I don’t want to say who since I don’t like to reveal my politics. I will give you clues. He has orange hair and orange skin and likes to bully so he fits the description and won’t shut up. Another clue: especially on Twitter. Can you guess… ?
Janice
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Um, gee, no I’m stumped.
One thing about living over here that surprised me is how much I’ve lost the day-to-day feel of American politics. It’s left me, for the moment at least, jokeless about it all, although god knows it needs jokes so we don’t weep.
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