Norway
A Norwegian anti-immigrant group went into fits of online hysteria about a photo of women in burkas only to find out that they were looking at a photo of six empty bus seats. Which, to be fair—and I do want to be fair to people with despicable politics and narrow minds—did look a lot like six women in burkas.
“This looks really scary,” one comment said. “Should be banned. You can’t tell who’s underneath. Could be terrorists.”
I’ve felt that way about bus seats myself. And let’s not get started on the seats in New York subways.
Other comments were about whether bombs or other weapons could be hidden under the seat covers.
Wales
A group of Catholic seminarians were kept out of a Cardiff pub because the staff thought they were a bunch of guys on a stag night.
To understand this—and I don’t, really, but I’ll do my best—you have to understand that the British have a thing about playing dress-up, which they call fancy dress, making it sound marginally more grown up. So guys on stag nights are likely to dress up in costumes and make a complete drunken nuisance of themselves. So the bar has a policy of not letting in “parties wearing fancy dress.”
At some point, the assistant manager decided they were for real and not only let them in but bought them a round. Everyone involved seems to have decided it was funny–unlike (I’m guessing) the Norwegian anti-immigrant group members, who are still too traumatized to ride the bus.
We need to ban bus seats high seat backs that look like people from other lands. In the old, and much better days, we used to hide behind newspapers. Now no one reads newspapers and you can’t hide behind a smart phone, so they intalled those ridiculous seats on buses.
God know what they will put in the hyperloop.
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I’m not sure people really need to hide behind smart phones since they kind of disappear down them as effectively as if they were rabbit holes. But you’re right: Ban high-backed bus seats. They’re clearly a danger to social cohesion. We’ll all just get whiplash and to hell with it.
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Technically, if you’re small enough, you can hide behind an iPhone 7+ That’s a big phone.
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I’m not that damn small.
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I read the story about the vicars in the pub, I wonder what eventually convinced the landlord that they were real vicars? I thought it was a great story. The empty bus seat one is a little more disturbing, however.
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It is disturbing. Maybe that’s why I laughed so hard–to fend off the other form of hysteria.
I don’t know how you convince someone you’re a genuine Catholic priest. For obvious reasons, I’d be less convincing that someone of the male persuasion.
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I admit, I laughed out loud too, then was worried if that was an inappropriate response. One must be so careful these days.
I will be researching genuine Catholic priests obsessively, as this matter is now very prominent in my mind!
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I’m not sure how you tell the real ones from the fakes. It’s not like no one else can recite a bit of Latin.
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If it makes any difference to the Norwegians, wearing a burka is a sign of being a conservative Muslim. A conservative Muslim woman would never take a bus without a male relative. So they need to look for 12 bus seats the next time – 6 of which will most likely not be all black.
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I’d say it depends how conservative the bus seat is, because some women in burkas do go out without a male relative. Nevertheless, it’s something to think about.
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You never know when a seat might be up to something:
https://arstechnica.com/cars/2017/08/driverless-van-is-just-a-vt-researcher-in-a-really-good-drivers-seat-costume/
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I’ve long suspected that computers work like that too. There’s some little, little person in there, with–well, it’s kind of like an old-fashioned switchboard, only with more wires and things to plug into.
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It’s the Microsoft Office 2003 Paperclip actually – long retired from front line public appearances on screen, but now orchestrating the works deep in the bowels of the PC/Laptop case.
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It’s good to know these things, even if we can’t control them. And don’t understand them. At least now I can nod knowingly when someone else explains it to me, as I’m sure they will.
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We need to talk more about those seats. Knowing how those seats are, they were probably a part of both stories. Whats next? Seats in our own homes? Have you been in contact with a seat today?
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You raise a serious–and frightening–issue. I have been in contact with a seat. I am in contact with a seat even as I type. I’ve become so accustomed to seats that I’ve assumed–until you raised the issue–that they were a longstanding part of my culture rather than a destabilizing foreign influence.
As soon as I’m done typing, I’ll stand up, tear open the seat cover, and check for bombs. Or bogus priests. We can’t be too careful in these dangerous days.
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Ah well it’s good to know that our Great Dane puppy is merely conforming to new national security standards when he, for reasons known only to himself and probably the UPS guy, tore open all our seats this afternoon!
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I’d heard the Department of Homeland Security was hiring great danes.
Feeding that dog must be scary–not because of temperament but amount.
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Can we say for sure where those seats came from? I a lot of bus seats in the US are made in Mexico. We refer to them as bad-hombre seats.You could be dealing with all kinds of potential danger there. As for fancy dress, I may need to pass that onto a friend. He’s going to a business meeting in Cardiff later this year. He’s known for dressing up nice for a good night out.
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Hmmm. A business meeting. In Britain. Just tell him to dress like (a) a priest, (b) a canteloupe (which I think I’m misspelling but don’t have time to look up, or (c) a meerkat. He’ll fit right in.
Thanks for warning me about those bus seats. I’ve been gone a long time and need to be kept up to date.
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I think he could pass as a cantaloupe
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Great. And I’m glad I don’t have to figure out how to pack his costume.
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I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the bus-seat thing. I think I’ll go with “laugh.” It will be a little ripple of positive energy to ward off at least a micron of the nonsense going on in the world at this moment.
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You took the words out of my mouth, only mine weren’t half as coherent.
That doesn’t make much sense. Okay. The thought out of my brain. (Scary in there, isn’t it?)
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great minds think alike. Not scary at all! :D
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The news, and people, can give us fits, or give us fits of hysteria. This seems to do both. Thank you!
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We might as well laugh….
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Definitely!
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Mistaken identities – always good for a laugh.
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Shakespeare did pretty well with the theme. Maybe there’s a play hidden somewhere in those bus seats.
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I was also thinking about the priests, ironically mistaken for a stag party. I found the bus seats rather creepy. From that angle they’re like, but not like people. Very unnerving.
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It’s when they get up and leave at the end of an eight-hour day that it really gets spooky.
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It is so easy to hoodwink some people
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I keep trying. How’m I doing?
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Not bad :)
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I’m happy to hear that the photo also looked to you like six women in burkas. I kept on seeing this photo and wasn’t getting it, and then it hit me. Now I’m disappointed with myself because I’m apparently prejudiced against burkas and I had no idea.
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If you didn’t immediately accuse the bus seats of hiding weapons or dastardly plots, I wouldn’t say you’re prejudiced against them. Or against burkas.
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I think I’d have bigger problems if I talked to bus seats :D
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The bus seats are pretty ugly, but the islamophobia the photo elicited is equally ugly. What strange times we live in.
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Strange and, all joking aside, frightening.
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Ah yes. ‘Fancy dress’. Years ago, when I began my British-authors phase (Margaret Drabble is one example. Iris Murdoch another) I couldn’t understand what was going on with the fancy dress parties. Even ‘Rebecca’ has one in it. I mistakenly thought it meant people just dressing up very ‘fancy’ for a party. But there are many other British phrases that are easily misconstrued by Americans who also speak ‘English’: ‘bonnet’, ‘shingle’, ‘jumper’, to name three. And don’t get me started on our use of ‘fanny pack’.
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Ah, yes, the fanny pack. My New Zealand friend came to the U.S. as a nanny–she was still quite young, which is relevant only because of how vulnerable you are at that age–and the first thing her new employer said to her was, “Nice fanny pack.” She didn’t turn around and get back on the plane, but only because it isn’t possible anymore.
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I had to produce a page from Vogue featuring stylish ‘fanny packs’ to prove I wasn’t being a vulgar American. But I never used the term again — here OR there (!)
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Very wise.
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I loved both those stories, because they both had a great ending!
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What surprised me, as I wrote the post, was that they actually had a connection. I initially put them together only because they were recent clippings and going rapidly out of date. (Not that that would stop me….)
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Bus Seat Burkas………A new, nefarious invention of Al Qaeda, designed to shock the Westerner, then lull him into a false sense of relief. As soon as he sits, the seat fabric will begin transmitting subliminal messages to button up his shirt, throw away those pork sausages, and pray to Allah. Bus by bus, route by route, Western civilization will be quickly destroyed.
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You’re right! How could I have failed to see it?
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Hello Ellen, I’ve gone through a couple of your posts. I love your sense of humor, and the way you write. It’s a world of wit and a kind I think I’ve missed on the blogosphere until now. So glad to find your blog (or that you found mine) :)
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And I was glad to find yours, which is thoughtful and genuine. Glad to meet you.
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The Norwegian story – hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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