99 thoughts on “Best headline of the week”

    • Wonderful. Someone published a book of headlines like that a decade or three back called Red tape holds up bridge. One of my favorites was “British left waffles on Falklands War.” It took me long minutes of thinking, Waffles? Syrup? What? before I managed to make sense out of it.

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  10. Chuckling. Wow. We know how to do the relatively – miffed- British – person – about – something – somewhat – bothersome – headline, don’t we?

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  11. It’s not as funny as yours, and it’s over four years old, but I’ve got a befuddling headline:

    ‘Muswell Hill family shell-shocked as tortoise who defied Hitler comes back from the dead.’

    The claim that he defied Hitler is disappointingly overstated. All he did was survive German bombing. In honour of this proud achievement, the family renamed him – wait for it – Adolf.
    I’m sure he was very proud to be named after the man who was responsible for the genocide of millions of innocent people, and who, moreover, was the evil genius behind the plot to destroy him.

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  12. I can’t top this one but each winter, I’m amused by the stock headline run by local press “Road Maintenance Services Surprised by Snow”. It’s idiotic because where I live, it snows each winter. So where’s the surprise?

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  14. as a resident of Tunbridge Wells (I have to admit!) we have had a lot of fun this week – no, stop, let me finish! – playing around with these headlines and the reactions from various other residents.

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  16. If there’s a Pulitzer equivalent for daft, punny, or double entendre laden headlines, this one has to be a contender. My husband texted me a link to that story because his parents used to live in Tunbridge Wells. Part of me thinks they are deliberately planting this story in the press to try and slough off some of their “disgusted” reputation.

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  20. I sense the sheer desperation for a story of any sort in some of the local news when the Devonlive website currently has “Exeter Mum accuses salon of leaving her daughters hair in a mess” but I was left wondering which animals weren’t ummm… horny (?) enough for “Man admits having porn covering ‘a fair swathe of the animal kingdom’ “

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  24. The really famous headline dates from WW II at the time of the North African campaign by the Allies under Montgomery against the German Army under Rommel:
    “Eighth army push bottles up Germans”

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    • I spent some time thinking about that before I found any actual sense in it. Two longstanding favorites of mine are “British left waffles on Falkland Islands” and “Red tape holds up bridge.”

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      • I just noticed that I already mentioned both headlines in my earlier comments. It’s been a while. So I can only hope you didn’t read them all. That way I’ll sound casual and clever and very much like someone who doesn’t repeat herself.

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