Parliament
the ceremonial mace
Ah, yes, the ceremonial mace, the symbol of “royal authority without which neither House [that’s the Commons and the Lords] can meet or pass laws.” (That’s a quote from parliament’s official website.)
Why can’t they meet or pass laws without it? Because that’s how it’s done. Grab the thing and take it home with you and you bring business to a screeching halt. If Boris Johnson really wanted to stop parliament from meeting, he could’ve tried it. It worked for Cromwell.
a dozen pubs in parliment
At least. Also two A’s.
mps wearing ties
This at least gets us away from questions about MPs wearing stockings, which is a nice change. Yes, MPs who are of the male persuasion are expected to wear ties. It’s boring, but it’s true.
what is the robe that house speaker wears
It’s–um, it’s a robe. Not like a bathrobe type of robe but like–well, it’s called a gown, so a gown type of robe. The current speaker broke with tradition by dressing in an ordinary suit (and yes, a tie, and I’m sure shoes and undies and all that predictable stuff) with the gown over it. That’s instead of wearing what’s called court dress underneath, which is more formal and infinitely more absurd and which speakers before him wore. On high ceremonial occasions, he wears a gown with gold braid.
History, biology, geography
why was great britain created
Well, the mommy britain looked at the daddy britain and thought he was–not exactly handsome, you know, but interesting. And the daddy britain looked at the mommy britain and thought she was someone worth getting to know. Not beautiful exactly, but green and pleasant, and there was just something about her that he couldn’t get out of his mind. And that’s how great britain was created. At first it was called little britain because it followed the traditional pattern of being born small and slowly getting bigger, but as it got older it took after the mommy britain and grew up to be a green and pleasant land. And larger than both its parents. That could be because by then growth hormones were being fed to the cattle, but no one knows for sure.
is there such a country called britain
Not exactly. The country’s called the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, known to its friends as the U.K. The Great Britain part of that is that big island you’ll find floating around between Ireland and Europe. It includes Wales, Scotland, and England. And Cornwall if you care to count it separately. Those are nations but they’re not (at the moment–check with me later to be sure we stay up to date) countries. That nation thing is about separate cultures. The country thing about government.
As a political entity, Britain doesn’t exist, but that doesn’t keep politicians from talking as if they were governing it.
Brexit
brexit and metric
I’m sure someone out there is counting on a triumphant, patriotic return to imperial measures if we leave the E.U., but I doubt it’ll happen. First, changing over is expensive. Second, British businesses will still hope to export (once they wade through all the paperwork) to metric-speaking countries, and it’s easier to export when you share a set of measurements.
Assuming, of course, that rational minds prevail.
Stop laughing. It’s been known to happen.
metric except for
…the things that aren’t. Miles, for example. Beer. A random sampling of other stuff. Instead of repeating what I’ve said better elsewhere, allow me to refer you to myself.
eveeything you need to know about brexit
Oops. I think I did make that claim, although I’m pretty sure I had another R in it somewhere. The thing is, we can’t take me seriously. No one knows everything we need to know about Brexit. Especially the people who said it would be simple.
So what’s Britain really like?
great in great britain
Yes, I am doing great here, and thanks for asking. Hope you’re doing great as well, wherever you may be.
why back roads in englane are so narrow
Because they’re back roads–the ones not a lot of people drive on. The ones that don’t need to be as wide as the main roads.
percentage uk people fishn chips or tikka masala
This is, I’d guess, a question about what percent of the British public prefers which, and it drives me to comment not on the topic itself but on the nature of search questions–or of questions in general. Does liking one mean you don’t like the other? Can a country include people who love both or neither? If the answer to the first question is no and to the second is yes, then there’s no way to do a head count.
If, of course, anyone cared enough to bother.
But let’s assume they do care and rejigger the question: As a way of checking in on the great British eating machine, once we find a way not to make this an either/or question, we can’t give people only those two choices. We need to allow for the impact of sausage rolls (and lately, vegan sausage rolls) on the British culture. And pasties. Do we include sweet stuff? Breakfast food? Lunch? Supper/dinner/tea/confusingly named evening meal?
What are we trying to measure here, and what are we going to learn if we get an answer to our questions?
do women lawyers in wales wear wigs
They do. Which means the men lawyers do as well. Some political powers have been devolved to Wales, but their legal system’s still English. Why? Because history’s a messy beast. So if English lawyers of whatever gender wear wigs in court (not in the office; not in the bath; and not in bed–I assume–or on the train), so do the lawyers in Wales.
In spite of devolution, I’m 99% sure that Scotland and Northern Ireland haven’t gotten rid of them. Maybe if Scotland leaves the U.K., it’ll reconsider.
I had other wig-related questions to choose from, but I’m tired of wigs. Let’s talk about something else.
throwing of currant buns
That happens in Abingdon-on-Thames on royal-related occasions. Allow me (apologies) to refer you to myself again for what I used to know on the subject but forgot as soon as I published it.
two finger up in britain
The plural of finger is fingers. If you’re using two of them, you need to topple from the singular into the plural. But I suspect that wasn’t the question.
What was the question?
are english public schools a good thing for education in this country
No.
That was easy.
If things that came from or made in britain were called “british,” something that came from or made in flanders were called ________________________
Flandish.
You’re welcome.
question is berwick upon tweed at war with russia
Answer: No. Sorry. But you could form an organization and push Berwick to declare war. Never underestimate the power that a small, committed group of people can have to make the world a better place. If the search engine questions that wander in here are any measure, a fair few of you are concerned about the issue.
who is berwick on tweed at war with
No one, but that could change any minute now.
what color are mailboxes in england
The same color as in Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland. And Cornwall, which is to say in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland: red.
Random
amazon
Why did this come to me? Because I am bigger than Amazon. And better.
Sweet Mary Jane! Do these daft queries find their way to you mail box or do you wander around the Googlesphere to find them?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, no, they come looking for me. What that says about me is something I’d rather not spend my time thinking about.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Understandable!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I thought this was hilarious but two of my sisters did not. I’m not game to try it on the other three.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ah, well, as long as someone’s laughing, it’s worth the effort. Humor’s an odd thing. What has one person rolling on the floor leaves someone else sitting in their chair feeling offended.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m vegetarian, so eat neither fish and chips nor chicken tikka masala, and it is chicken, not just tikka masala. I had my first vegan sausage roll this week and I hope never to have another.
LikeLiked by 2 people
So far I’ve managed to avoid vegan sausage rolls. With your encouragement, I’ll keep up my efforts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I should.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If you see ANYTHING in the supermarket labelled as vegan,,,run, run like the wind
LikeLiked by 2 people
Okay. I’ve been warned.
LikeLike
Ah Ellen. You’ve answered all my questions at least. But my favourite part was the robes section, for I have a passion for fashion. I bow to you my Queen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You wouldn’t if you knew what I was wearing. Ten a.m. and I’m still in my bathrobe with my hair sticking up in all directions. But keep that to yourself, would you?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Giggle! Meanwhile I’m dressed in golden finery for a change. And I want everyone to know it. ;))
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, of course you are. I assumed that but it’s good to know for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aw Ellen, really?! This warms my heart. >D Normally it’s pj’s (aka yoga pants) though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course really. Would I lie about anything that important?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love that you keep making me laugh!! I’m far too serious without your comments!
LikeLiked by 1 person
*at least should have been at last!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry, I can’t figure out what that attaches to.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh sorry I meant in my own comment above, 😅 not in your post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gotcha. I’m not at my sharpest right now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brush your hair! It’ll feel good and stimulate the neurons! 😆
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sigh. Okay, Mom.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂 atta girl.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We take so much for granted; it’s hard to comprehend that people need to ask these questions. :-)
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re right. And it’s easy to fall into the illusion that if we’ve answered them once, everyone should know the answers. It’s a bit like when I was a waitress. By the end of the day, I was so tired of seeing food that I felt like I’d been serving the same person all day and when someone new sat down I’d want to say, “You’re not going to eat again, are you?”
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was perhaps being a little tongue in cheek. Frankly, I’m glad people are interested enough to ask. And someone (possibly ‘Visit Britain’) needs to thank you for stepping in and trying to help.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Still, it does feel like sweeping out the ocean with a broom.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m glad; we wouldn’t want to make it too easy.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I am too tired to find a “hah ha” emoticon algorthm…
LikeLiked by 2 people
“two finger up in britain… ”
They might have been referring to getting a prostate exam. Another misspelling, should use ‘briton’ in that context. And probably ‘Eeek..’ at least.
LikeLiked by 2 people
When you’re dealing with search engine questions (or humans, now that I think of it) anything is possible.
LikeLike
Now you’ve done it. I want a Flandish sweater in the worst way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure someone could knit you one. I’d offer, but the last sweater I made had bowed arms that looked like it was designed for a gorilla.
LikeLiked by 2 people
>>“two finger up in britain… ”
They might have been referring to getting a prostate exam. <<
Ouch. Presumably, it was someone who didn't know that, one way round, the "V-sign" was in WW2 used as the "Victory" sign in the UK, but the other way around it was already established as the equivalent of the American middle finger. There are pictures of Churchill doing it the "other way", but that (if my father is anything to go by) was taken as a naughty joke on his part.
The Victorians came up with some fancy euphemistic tale that it originated with English archers at Agincourt taunting the French by showing that they still had the fingers needed to draw their lethal bows (where the French were said to have chopped them off any English archers they had caught). (I am not making this up).
On the other hand, it has been used as part of a graphic reference to, shall we say, a sexual practice that is anything but a prostate exam. By extension, just waving the splayed fingers in an upward direction became a rudely dismissive gesture.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve read the Agincourt explanation, and all the reasons it can’t be substantiated. Your explanation, though, is the first I’ve heard of that. Maybe I’ve been looking to the wrong sources for enlightenment. Story of my life. But really, what is a culture thinking to have a celebratory gesture and an insult so easily mistaken for each other?
LikeLike
It reflects the British genius for ambiguity.
Mr. Speaker Bercow is the sort of man who would be wearing brown shoes in town…though possibly not when Sitting.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Brown shoes? Oh, the horror! (she said as if she understood what’s supposed to be wrong with doing that).
LikeLiked by 2 people
Brown shoes (for men) were perfectly acceptable with tweed suits or country casual wear, but chaps wear dark (ie, navy or grey) suits to Town and that calls for black shoes. (Town with a capital T is London, by the way. Lord knows what the dress code for other cities might be!)
LikeLiked by 2 people
That will weigh as heavily with me as all the other dress codes I don’t understand/remember/care about. Fortunately, it doesn’t apply to me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tee shirts for Newcastle but only when the temperature is below freezing….
LikeLiked by 1 person
If I live here a thousand years, I’ll never understand the subtleties. Sounds like an early Minnesota spring, when it’s barely above freezing but all of a sudden the runners are wearing shorts. And then appearing in the emergency rooms with frostbite.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Similar but without the fristbite.
Or you could study the phenomenon of girls with blue legs wearing white high heeled shoes in parts of Essex….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Public schools give children of rich parents a short-cut to the top jobs. That’s how most MPs, lawyers, judges and others in high offices have got to where they are now. They all went to the right schools. It sucks, but it’s true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All too true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m vegan, but didn’t really like either fish or tikka masala before becoming first vegetarian and then vegan, so my answer would definitely be a firm, “Neither,” to that one. You know, in case the people who asked that one are interested enough to want to know. Wouldn’t mind some chips if they’re cooked in vegetable oil, and not in the same fryer as all the fish and sausages and stuff though. Just thought I’d point that out, in case the person is offering to buy us whichever we’d prefer. It’s unlikely, but you never know, and I can hope.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It would be thoughtful. I’m in the neither category myself, but a nice veggie burger (with the emphasis on nice, which are hard to find) would be good.
LikeLike
A nice veggie burger? Good luck with that! Mostly they’re just “OK” at best. I eat them if I’m hungry enough, they’re vegan versions, and there’s nothing better on offer. But it has to tick all three boxes for me to do so. Except the tofu burger one of our local cafes does… That does actually taste good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Quorn, I think, makes a decent one–it’s got some taste and it’s got a good texture.
End of our commercial interlude.
LikeLike
Oh, and I was told by a history teacher once that the impolite version of the two-fingered salute was a gesture made by Welsh archers towards the English to show they still had the fingers they needed to use their bows to fire arrows at them. Don’t remember more than that, and not 100% certain if it’s true, or was the history teacher’s idea of a joke, because he was proud to be Welsh, and thought the Welsh were better archers than the English, or whatever. But I thought it sounded cool at the time, and it stuck with me all these years, so I figured I’d share it with you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As I’ve read it, it was English archers, but either way there’s no evidence that it’s true. Still, the tale persists.
LikeLike
Sounds like a case of both sides saying things to make their own side look good. But that’s how it often is, so no surprise there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So funny. Thanks for the laughs!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a pleasure.
LikeLike
All good questions. Happy to see the answers to things I wanted to know but never knew I wanted to know.
In Georgia in the forties the Secretary State was at odds with the Governor (long story) so he hid the State Seal. Governor could not sign any laws or official documents as they were not valid without the state seal imbedded thereon. Their argument went to the state Supreme Court and they ruled in fair if Secretary of State side and kicked the acting governor (Herman Talmadge) out of office. (See three governors dispute on google if interested)
Glad you pointed out the difference in country and nation. I keep mentioning that and stating that the US us a country composed of several nations.
I thought Great Britain included Ireland and nearby island, as in the British Isles. Glad you pointed out that is not so.
Hope your cold is getting better.
Back to yesterday, did not think the PM would get the EU to agree to a plan. I am impressed that he did.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great–and immensely silly–story about Georgia. As for your last paragraph, don’t be impressed. It ain’t over till it’s over.
LikeLike
And Yogi did day that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s in the half the things he said that he did say?
LikeLike
Yes. It’s in his book “I Really Didn’t Say Everything I Said”
Nobody but Yogi could say that.
As he also said:
It gets late early out there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He was a national treasure. And, I think, only possible in the US of A.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All in the family (I’m Ellen’s brother). A devoted reader who sometimes sends email directly rather than post here; but I can resist. Ellen wrote: “If things that came from or made in britain were called “british,” something that came from or made in flanders were called ________________________
Flandish.”
Ah, what I love about this blog is that it is so outflandish. Big hugs….in Dad’s memory.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jim. I think we’re both honoring his spirit here.
LikeLike
Hi Ellen, I am trying to understand and learn more about Britain (and other parts of the world). I see what Marty meant by the “irrelevant photo.” Immediate smile. A great post for somewhat like me. I like the Coles notes and I realize information changes every minute. I think I have learned more about the United Kingdom of Great Britain in this one post, than I have my entire 60 years on the planet. I realize I could Google and read books, although this was a lot more fun:) Erica
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad it’s useful. Do keep in mind that in the process of making it fun I occasionally run us all right over the edge of a cliff, assuming that people will know when I’m joking. With luck, everyone knows when that happens. I’d use asterisks to mark the spots, but they’d spoil the fun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love how you weave wit and humour throughout your post, Ellen. I do take it all with a grain of salt and a smile on my face:) Erica
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glorious. I sometimes think I should come with a health and safety warning.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve never understood why the Brits call private schools “public schools”. Here, a public school is one funded by taxpayers. Although I suppose taxpayers fund all those politicians who graduated from the private ones…
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s true in the US as well. Until recently, I believed the British public schools were called that in contrast to the older tradition of the sons of the rich being tutored at home, but I’ve since read that they’re called public because they were run by charities–for which I’d substitute nonprofit groups–as opposed to private teachers, who made their livings by running small for-profit schools. The earliest public schools were set up to teach the sons of the poor, but they were considered good, so they were essentially taken over for the sons of the rich. That history helps explain why they still get massive tax breaks.
Have you noticed that the world is insane?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh yes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thought you might’ve.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Marty of Snakes brought me over here, and I’m glad he did. Great idea on the irrelevant photo, and I enjoy your irreverent humor. Plus, I learned lots about “your land.” I probably could use those asterisks you mention to Erica, but I’ll try to figure out facts from fiction best way I can. :-)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for stopping by, and thanks to Marty for sending you this way. I think I managed one relevant photo at the beginning of my blogging and gave up not long after. It was simpler and a lot more fun that way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All personal mailboxes are red? Thanks for linking up with us at the GATHER OF FRIENDS LINK PARTY 9. Pinned
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry, I was unclear there. People’s individual mailboxes are whatever color they want, or can find or happen to have. The Royal Mail’s boxes–called post boxes, I think–are red. And are, awkwardly, almost the same shade of red as the dog boxes that some places put up to encourage dog walkers to do the right thing.
LikeLike