England’s pubs have opened, and the rule is that you can sit at the tables but not hang around at the bar. A pub in St. Just, Cornwall, is taking that seriously. They installed an electric fence at the bar. According to one version of the tale, it’s mostly off but if you get in the bartender’s face and it goes on, and–zap– you will respect social distancing.
According to the other version, it’s never on but just having it there makes the point.
Take your pick.
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After a false start, or two, England finally has a policy on face masks.
The false starts? While the prime minister hinted that we would probably, maybe, almost certainly, and quite possibly need to wear masks in shops, a government minister was saying categorically that we wouldn’t. Then they went into the back room to arm wrestle, came out friends, and agreed that we do need to.
But not right away. Starting on the 24th.
Why not right away? 1) We need to allow time for people to locate their mouths. 2) The government needs time to craft a message explaining that masks, properly worn, cover the entire human breathing apparatus, which includes both the mouth and the nose. C) We need to allow time for people to absorb that message and then locate their noses. 4) What’s your hurry anyway?
What will happen if someone doesn’t wear a mask in a shop?
Good question. Theoretically, they’re risking a £100 fine, only the police have said they’re not in the business of policing shops and should be called only as a last resort. Many shops and shop workers are, understandably, hesitant about enforcing it.
The country may have to rely on the power of tutting to enforce the rule.
Tutting? I’m going to refer to that more unreliable of experts, me, for an explanation. It’s point number 2.
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With its usual laserlike precision, the government is trying to boost the economy by offering people half off when they eat out in August. From Mondays to Wednesdays. Excluding alcohol. Up to a value of £10. If the place you eat is eligible. But you yourself? You’re eligible time after time after time until the end of August.
The slogan is, “Eat out to help out.”
Not that I’m trying to draw a parallel or anything, but the number of kids showing up in hospitals with malnutrition has doubled this year, to 2,500, although the number’s probably higher, since not all hospitals responded to the request for information. Food bank use has surged, and government figures show that as many as 7.7 million adults cut their portion sizes or missed meals because they couldn’t afford food.
So half off for people who can afford the other half? Yup, we’ve got our priorities right.
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Speaking of laserlike targeting of economic stimulus, let’s indulge in a semi-good news story. Primark–a clothing chain–announced that it wouldn’t take up a government offer of £1,000 for every employee that they brought back from furlough. The company doesn’t need it.
That’s £30 million it’s passing up.
*
Most Augusts, the Edinburgh Fringe Festival turns everything larger than a trash can into a theater, packs as many people in as is physically possible, and fire regulations be damned. Edinburgh fills up with as many people as it can hold plus many thousand more. The shows range from the professional, unexpected, and inspired to the amateur and embarrassing.
This year, with the pandemic still on the prowl, it’s not going to happen, so the festival’s gone virtual. You can sit on your couch and watch a selected number of shows. You can fund the artists. I’m not sure what else you can do, if anything, because I’m too busy telling you about it to actually learn anything. But it looks like it’s worth some exploration.
Enjoy.
As the old saying goes, “Clear as mud!” Worse than that, constantly evolving, and different policies and regulations coming from every level of government. At least, that’s true in the US.
Thanks, Ellen, for the update. Stay safe and happy. Cheryl
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Thanks, Cheryl. And you.
As for me, I could live with evolving policies if they reflected the evolving understanding of the virus. Instead, they reflect the evolving political conveniences or hiding places or whims of the fools in government. Or in the case of masks, they reflect something that’s been known for a long damn time.
Wakey, wakey, people.
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I totally agree with you!
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Thanks for including the semi-good news. Three cheers for Primark, and boo to the company on their left who said, “are you going to scoop up that bonus? If not, can I have it?”
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And thanks for my morning laugh. I’ll turn on the electric fence now so we can zap the company on the left.
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Masks are actually unfun to wear, but then I’ve never been good at doing what’s good for me. If given a choice, I will typically choose the wrong option. Except on scholastic aptitude tests – I was always great enough to be in the 72% category if I lived in Britain.
I will happily wear a mask now if Pretty ever lets me out of the house again, however.
I feel for everyone who gets shocked at the bars unless they are too full of adult beverages which is why they would get shocked anyway probably. Bless their hearts.
I am still confused about tutting. I hope no one does it in front of anyone.
Cheers to you from across the pond!
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And to you.
Tutting is–as far as I know–a uniquely British form of signaling that goes over the heads of most Americans, so you may not even notice if someone tuts you. Or at least–well, picking up on subtle signals isn’t one of my strengths, but I’m not going to suggest myself as an example of a 72% typical American. Maybe you’d notice. It’s not the best way to shame me out of something.
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I fear I’ve been tutted.
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Oh dear. The good news is that it’s not lethal. People generally recover quickly.
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Electric fence at the bar – to ensure people maintain social distancing. This made me laugh. Who will dare? How do u know it’s off?
I’m glad about the mask obligation. It was about time. I just don’t know how people will listen when some politicians in power think the policy doesn’t apply to them.
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Enough politicians (in Johnson’s own party) are stirring up anti-mask outrage that I expect it’ll be a battle. They should be charged with criminally irresponsible governing.
The only way I can think of to find out if the fence is on or off is to touch it. Which probably isn’t a good idea.
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Those orange berries look like bittersweet, but since I don’t know what bittersweet leaves look like it might be something else.
As for the delay in mandating masks having to do with finding facial parts to cover : Dear Leader has stated that he “loves” wearing a mask, “Makes me look like the Lone Ranger.” (I hope that doesn’t require an explanation. Zorro ? The Scarlet Pimpernel ? The Man in the Iron Mask ?) While the citizenry would prefer he cover his mouth. With duct tape.
In breaking news, before a judge could rule on a suit brought by a number of colleges and universities, the Administration has stepped back from saying that any foreign students not physically in a classroom (but in remote learning situations) would be deported. “For now.”
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I’m glad to know the administration backed down on the students. What a pointless, spiteful position to have taken.
I wonder if Trump remembers that it was the opposite end of the face that Zorro covered.
I don’t think it’s bittersweet. Someone did tell me what they were once, but I’ve managed to forget. It was probably in Latin. British gardening leans heavy on Latin, and I’m tend to fall over when too much weight goes in that direction.
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I’m back, Ellen, catching up on UK pandemic readable news. I needed to laugh—electric fences in bars, the mask policy, and eat out to help out. CA is back in lockdown. High numbers of new coronavirus cases after reopening. So now, you can only eat outdoors, at sidewalk or parking lot tables,
wherever the restaurant owner can find space. No more nail or hair salons, gyms or shopping malls. All shut down. So, the new normal will be here indefinitely, and we had better get used to it. I dare not mention what else is going on in US cities & streets. It’s all over worldwide news to read. Keep your mostly fun posts coming, with serious underlying messages. 📚🎶 Christine
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Hey Christine. Good to have you back. Over here, the gyms etc. will opening back up soon, and I can’t imagine that won’t send us, like you, spiking again. You have to wonder how we’ll get out of this mess, don’t you? Take care. It’s crazy out there.
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I don’t want to target any specific group (I have 5 young adult granddaughters), BUT, it seems our young people in the US, are gathering, whooping it up—and passing around the happy to be here tiny, invisible bugs! I have to resort to humor, like you. The reality stats are too awful to post! 😳😏
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I’m sure it’s not all of them, but I’m sure some of them think they’re invulnerable. Statistically, they’re low risk, but try arguing statistics (I’m too young–it’s not me yo want) if you pull the wrong card out of the deck and get a bad case.
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Yeah! Their eyes roll when you give them facts & statistics. So scary! 😳😞
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It is.
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The last time we were in Edinburgh — which coincided with the festival — it was pandemonium combined with massive construction. Thanks for posting the Fringe link; what a great idea even without a pandemic.
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If I ever catch up with myself, I’m looking forward to exploring it. We used to go to the Fringe pretty regularly and loved it, but it was mayhem. That part we weren’t crazy about. But we did see some fantastic, unexpected theater.
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passing up on $30 million wow….We are back in lockdown here in Melbourne Australia. for 6 weeks or now 5. stage 3. talk of even going to stage 4. closing down of cafes and restaurants and only supermarkets and chemists to be open. All due to stupid people and stupid government.
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I was just reading an article on how Iceland handled the pandemic. They did a massive test-and-trace campaign, starting with the first case they had, let public health people drive the campaign instead of politicians, and controlled it without having to lock down.
Sigh. Stay well.
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Electric fence in a bar? I used to use eight strand barbed wires with every other one electrified to keep my 2000 pound plus bulls in the pasture. Guess some bar patrons might need a hit of the hot wire.
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I’m pretty sure the bar patrons have a bit left heft to absorb all that electricity. I wonder if they couldn’t rig it to a dimmer switch so the don’t end up throwing anyone across the room with it.
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I’ll just bet Edinburgh residents are as chuffed as blazes that they have their city to themselves. Businesses no…residents yes.
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Except for the ones who bail out for a month and count on an infusion of cash from renting out their apartments.
Actually, I’m not sure how many of those there are. It could well be that the combination of tourism and the Fringe have taken a lot of apartments off the long-term rental market completely.
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I’m betting on the electric fences winning out over face masks, especially if they help people locate their mouths and noses. ;-)
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The only problem I see there is that they’re hard to move around with. You not only have to suspect two meters of electric fence around yourself like an old-fashioned hoop skirt, you’ve got to work in your power source somewhere.
Then you have to get through a door.
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Ginger Billy has all the answers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdA-3xXBGSI
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It’s high time someone did.
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Masks. Why is it so hard? But on to the Fringe–it’s even nutty in E-burgh the week before the Fringe. I was there once at that time and it was full of performers and street acts. Fun. I bet online will be fun, too, but the comedians will find it hard.
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True. Without the energy of an audience to ride, it’s hard to pull off a joke. It makes me wonder if stand-up is more about psychology or physiology–if there isn’t some physical element that goes into making us break into laughter as a herd.
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Oh, definitely. Even if someone just stands still and deadpans, that can be part of the act that’s funny.
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I’ve been in that pub, not recently obviously. It’s near the village where we used to spend our summer holiday when I was a child.In those days I sat outside it, while my parents were inside. I went in about 20 years ago when I went back to the village for a holiday.
I didn’t realise that Americans don’t understand tutting. Never mind.
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What a coincidence, that you know the place. As for tutting–I’m from New York. If you want to insult me or let me know I’ve offended you, you need to be right out there with it, otherwise it’s likely to go over my head. We’re right out there with our opinions, whether anyone wants to hear them or not. I admit, the rest of the country’s probably a bit gentler, but since subtle signals are lost on me I’m not the best person to report on it.
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Tutting isn’t subtle, especially if it’s combined with an eyeroll, my own speciality.
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I may be setting the bar too high. New Yorkers just get out on the street and yell at each other, and I’ll always be, at heart, a New Yorker.
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It’s a bit more subtle than that, I’ll admit.
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What’s the point of deciding on masks and giving 10 days before it’s mandatory? I cringe at the very idea of a mask-less pub…
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As someone with a faster mind than mine tweeted, “The barn door will be locked in exactly ten days.” But that’s the way they’ve handled pretty much everything. By the time they finally latch onto the right idea, they find a way to do it incompetently anyway.
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I guess they gave a few days notice because some people have health issues with lungs, heart and blood pressure and need to check with their doctors if it is OK to wear a mask, and if advised they shouldn’t get an exemption card so they won’t be fined.
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Interesting point. I haven’t read anything about exemption cards, and when I googled it I found some for sale and others that were downloadable, none needing a doctor’s okay. It looks like something that could be handled quickly.
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That electric fence idea could have been dreamed up by the government, as it clearly is only half baked. Without arming the bar staff with cattle prods to complete the deterrent it’s only part way there.
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I didn’t see anything in the article about cattle prods, just a nice friendly electric fence.
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Nor did I, but I thought they should have taken the extra precaution 😉
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Tut!
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Gasp. Wheeze. Oh, the shame!
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I find that tuttin, combined with an eye roll, head shake and then telling someone what the problem is and why they are lucky I don’t poke them with a stick, generally works…
actually it generally doesn’t, it generally gets me looked at like I am the rude one… and then people carry on doing the thing that they shouldn’t have been doing. Or at least that is what seems to happen now in supermarkets…
They then get looked at with increasingly wild eyes.
which is because I feel like I can’t breathe when I am wearing my mask…I can breathe, I know that logically so I do wear one. I just open my eyes wider to compensate for some reason.
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Someone in the supermarket, instead of tutting me, reminded me that I wasn’t 2 meters away. I think I surprised her by apologizing. She was right. I hadn’t been in the supermarket since–I don’t know, 1984, I think, and I hadn’t thought about it. I’m grateful she didn’t do the whole tutting thing, although if she’d threatened to poke me with a stick I might have noticed that we had a problem of some sort.
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Generally speaking you can tell who just forgot and who just doesn’t care…
I only poke the don’t care ones, they are normally in packs. Actually I don’t poke them. I just look freaked out over the top of my mask and swerve out of the way because supermarkets are horrible and I don’t really want to get into a row
I once nearly hit someone in a supermarket carpark (we were both in cars) I wound the window down and she looked resigned and wound hers down, then looked totally shocked and pleased when I said “I am really sorry I wasn’t looking” I think she thought I was going to yell.
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I’ll bet she still remembers the incident.
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I hope so, It was just one of those moments when being nice was the best thing… also it was my fault and I should say sorry if I can :-)
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It’s a wonderful thing to do. Nice people will be delighted. Assholes will be disconcerted.
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Always good to disconcert an asshole!! 😁
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It could almost make politeness a default position.
Almost.
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Almost 😁
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Most of Ontario’s events have gone virtual this year, too. (The rest have been cancelled).
The online Fringe Festival sounds interesting!
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I plan to check it out–just as soon as I catch up with myself.
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A great roundup. If you’re interested, the annual Testicle Festival is scheduled for August 1 in Fredericksburg, TX. People will likely catch Covid from attending, but oh well, right?
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I’m tempted to say, “You’re kidding, right?” but you’re not. I know you’re not. I think even without the virus I’d give that one a miss. It’s no place for a vegetarian.
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It’s a great time to be a vegetarian!
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I’ve been practicing for something like 50 years, so I’m glad I finally found the right time for it.
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I’m 99% vegan these days. On a very rare occasion I’ll have fish, and once in a blue moon a bite of chicken or beef. Never thought I’d go this route, but I’m healthier than I’ve been in many years.
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That’s interesting that’s it’s made a noticeable difference in your health. The idea of fish or meat holds no appeal to me, but I’d have a hard time giving up dairy products.
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I started having awful issues with dairy. There are some ok substitutes, even some great vegan dressings and sour creams. I do miss real cheese.
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Yeah, issues with dairy will work as a motivator. I’ve shifted to lactose-free milk, which has been great. But cheese– Mmmmmm. I love cheese. I have to limit myself, but I do love the stuff.
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I was looking for a good twelve step program for cheese addicts.
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I’d refer you to one, but I have a chunk of sharp cheddar in my refrigerator and my life has become unmanageable.
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Cheddar’s the gateway cheese.
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It is. And I’m hurling myself through. I’ll be in touch when I’m sobering up and full of regrets.
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I swear, by all that’s hole-y, sometimes I’m jonesing for a slice of Swiss.
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Just one slice couldn’t possibly hurt.
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Last time I thought that I woke up in the gutter cradling a wheel of Gouda. It wasn’t pretty.
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Ah, but it was one hell of a night.
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I have no memory of what went down after someone yelled, “say cheese!”
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That’s the definition of a good night out. Or so I’m told.
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Pubs/bars are too crowded in NY. I think they shut a few down because they let too many in.
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This might interest you: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/06/08/how-iceland-beat-the-coronavirus. It’s on how Iceland responded to the virus.
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No masks. Quarantine those exposed. Protect the vulnerable .Don’t shut down the entire economy. I like get a CoVid test if you are negative you don’t have to quarantine.
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I LOVE the idea of the electric fence!
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I have the impression that people are divided on that. I’m with you. Sometimes you have to stop discussing thing and flip the switch.
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Not masks, face coverings, someone or other pointed out, so that would be handy for bank robbers.
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Oh. So if I crochet one, it’ll be fine?
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My friend’s sister was crocheting masks – though she did mention something about them needing a lining….
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I can’t remember who I mentioned crocheted masks to, but I saw a pattern for one on a blog–but with no mention of a lining.
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I say we put the electric fences at the doors to shops. If you’re wearing a mask, it’s off. No mask, they turn it on. Keeps the poor workers from getting beat up. (They’re probably too civilized there for the attacking thing, but it’s definitely a problem here)
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It could happen here, although my best unsubstantiated guess is that it’s less likely. I don’t think there’s the same level of officially encouraged anger floating loose, and opposition to masks is, I think, less. But yes, it would work. It would also be a little hard to work your way past the fence to get in, but I’m sure there’s a way to work that out.
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