56 thoughts on “Sweary parrots and who’s allowed to be gay, lesbian, bacon, & tomato: It’s the news from Britain

    • Thanks for making me laugh out loud first thing in the morning. That gets the day off to a good start. I can imagine that could put a strain on a relationship. I wonder if that bird shouldn’t take up a career as a family therapist.

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  1. I have used so much cash recently that I forgot £2 coins existed… I actually asked my husband a couple of days ago if they were still a thing.
    I was told they were. I don’t know where the royal mint is storing the surplus, but it is not Sussex!

    I have been to Ireland, their backed goods (including bread) are excellent. If they say subway bread isn’t bread, I believe them!

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  2. I can’t remember if I’ve ever had anything from Subway, so I can’t comment on the taste of their not-bread. 10% sugar sounds an incredible amount, as does 2%. I make my own bread (hence all the wingeing about not being able to get flour, but two bags were delivered yesterday) and all the recipes I use require much less. I don’t know why you’d want to put that much sugar into bread.

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    • I’m with you. Even the relatively sweet breads I make–rolls with dried fruit; challah–don’t have that much. I have, a couple of times, been stuck eating Subway sandwiches. I can’t remember why. Friendship, probably. It accounts for any number of strange things I’ve done. It’s nasty bread, with the texture of– Um. Nothing at all.

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      • Then I defintely haven’t had one. I think I’d remember a non-taste experience like that. I make challah. I couldn’t believe the amount of sugar in the recipe the first time I made it. Adding eggs was also new, but I do it in my ordinary loaves now, because I like the texture they give.

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  3. I read about the enzyme a couple years ago when scientists, here in the states, were working on it. My first thought was, “What if it got loose in the environment?” All sorts of horror science fiction movies started to pop into my head: Driving down the road in my 7.6% plastic vehicle (11% in the EU) when the steering wheel and dashboard started to disolve…

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  4. I tried suggesting to a group on Facebook that we wait until January 1st to “fall back” to standard time. I was hoping to shorten 2020 by one hour. At this point, it seemed like a good idea. I got a bunch of technical why-you-cant-do-that explanations. So either it was a bad joke, or losing one’s sens of humor is another sign of the Coronavirus. Or, perhaps, though unlikely, it was only funny in my head.

    The biggest bit of fallout over less cash being in use will be fewer people knowing what to do with cash. People under 60 already struggle with making change. Several places around here just round up to the nearest quarter.

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  5. So nice to be getting some of my news from your blog Ellen. It’s always a pleasure. Ahh the Trumps. If only they had stayed out of politics. They could now be getting permanently tattooed suntans and they’d still be welcome in clubs like Studio 54 where they could dance the night away without shedding a drop of sweat–appearances being one of their chief concerns. Poor Eric. It’s rough having to keep track of all those acronyms.

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    • I must say, try as I might, I can’t quite work out what he thought (if thought’s the word) he was trying to say. I might surmise the presence of alcohol (as in the time of the evening when “You’re my best mate you are, I bloody love you” starts to make an appearance – they do say the difference between gay and straight is about six pints of lager).

      Either that, or stream-of-consciousness wordsoup is a hereditary condition.

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      • Word soup as a hereditary condition sounds convincing. Much as I like the idea that the difference between gay and straight is six pints, I can’t imagine that if he’d been drunk no one would’ve noticed anything else about his end of the conversation.

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  6. Wait until Eric finds out what the “Q: in “QAnon” stands for eh ?:

    There are people who genetically cannot sweat. They are very susceptible to heat exhaustion or heat stroke. (Pigs don’t sweat either, which is why the like mud so much – it evaporates and cools them) So if you have full body tatts be careful in the sun or saunas.

    Over here in the Former Colonies, some places are saying they need change as there is a shortage of coins. Others say they don;t have that problem. I have taken to using cash (and fast-food drive-thrus) to avoid passing around my much handled debit card. Maybe the UK could ship some pee over here.(you know what I mean)
    And speaking of fast food – bread is indeed an important food – but buying it as part of a Subway sammich isn’t cheap enough to qualify for a staple food’

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    • Where do I start? Having turned up my nose at contactless card payments for years, I’ve started using mine. It’s strange–you wave it vaguely in the direction of a machine, something goes beep, and you’ve paid. But increasingly the studies are landing on the side of contagion happening through the air. The germs do survive on surfaces, but so far there’s no evidence that the virus is being passed on that way. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, but I, at least, have gotten more relaxed about it. I even go hog wild from time to time and use cash.

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  7. I didn’t know Eric almost came out, but I did read about the parrots. I thought it was incredibly funny. People came around and encouraged them, and apparently the other parrots started swearing because it got such a lovely response…

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