Breaking news: Programs intended to protect children from online pornography and in-head dirty thoughts are filtering out sites whose names include the words Essex and Sussex. Wessex wasn’t mentioned, and I’m not even going to try to explain that.

So there you go. You heard it here first. Or possibly second, since the BBC broke the story. I’d give you a link but it doesn’t seem to be online.

What, you say, an earth-shattering story like that?

Indeed. And I’m sure there’s a conspiracy out there to suppress it.

Screamingly irrelevant photo: What we do on a winter evening